![]() ![]() ![]() (This is just a rumor though) Lemmings can be domesticated, but they are extremely prone to jumping off the highest point in the household, in an attempt to re-kindle their lost ways. Many people have wondered why the lemmings haven't died out, when huge numbers jump off cliffs, and although there is no proven answer, there are suspitions that the stronger of the race develop "wings", much like flying squirrels. There have even been games designed after lemmings' amazing talent.(eh-oh no more lemmings). Although it is not the main goal in their life, many people and native tribes swear that they have seen the filthy little creatures run screaming off cliffs.(It is still not known that lemmings have the ability to scream and if this isn't just a tidbit added for interest over the years). It is a known fact however, that they are extremely prone to jumping off cliffs. This may be because they are somewhat cute if you look hard enough, or it may be that they are excellent in milkshakes. As if panic buiying of French delicattessen products and the firey demise of our main outlet in Rochdale were not bad enough, we are now facing the nigh-on impossible task of sourcing lemming curd from whatever country will trade with us.Humans have always had a soft spot for the furry little rodents, lemmings. ![]() A spokesman for Waitrose said “This has been a terrible week for us. The price of lemming dairy products is expected to skyrocket in the coming weeks, and many UK supermarkets have already announced shortages. ![]() The Furbøl’s findings are already causing concern among international investors in Cornish lemming farms, who have withdrawn over £65bn in assets since the revelation. We do not know how many survived as we lost the signal when the devices smashed on the rocks or sank to the bottom of your English Fjord.” GPS track of an unfortunate lemming Of our sample of over 33 million adorable lemmings, nearly 52% rushed blindly over the edge, dragging the rest with them. The madness began at o7:00 and continued at a crazy pace until 22:00. “We attached GPS transmitters to many lemmings and logged the results. These do not know the terrible suffering they will endure.” Our lemmings long to move away from such dangerous places as the benefit is not as high as the cost. “A Norwegian lemming would never do such a crazy thing. We filmed them in their millions running bouncy-bouncy up to the edge of the precipice … and they just kept going. “It was most unbelievable,” laughed Furbøl, “the British lemming seems totally unaware of the danger of cliffs. Norwegian lemming expert, Hilarius Furbøl and his wife Annita, also a research scientist, recently visted Penzance, Cornwall, to observe some curious behaviour displayed by the Norwegian lemming’s British cousins. These stories have for some time been considered far from the truth … until now. This comic, which was inspired by a 1953 American Mercury article, showed massive numbers of lemmings jumping over Norwegian cliffs. Even more influential was the 1958 Disney film White Wilderness, which won an Academy Award for Documentary Feature, in which staged footage was shown with lemmings jumping into certain death after faked scenes of mass migration. A Canadian Broadcasting Corporation documentary, Cruel Camera, found the lemmings used for White Wilderness were flown from Hudson Bay to Calgary, Alberta, Canada, where they did not jump off the cliff, but were in fact forced off the cliff by the camera crew. Because of the limited number of lemmings at their disposal, which in any case were the wrong sub-species, the migration scenes were simulated using tight camera angles and a large, snow-covered turntable. In 1955, Disney Studio illustrator Carl Barks drew an Uncle Scrooge adventure comic with the title “The Lemming with the Locket”. It was well enough known to be mentioned in The Marching Morons, a 1951 short story by Cyril M. The misconception of lemming “mass suicide” is long-standing and has been popularized by a number of factors. Or is it a myth? Researchers in Norway have recently observed some alarming behaviour in a particular lemming population that may substantiate the tales of kamikaze rodents. For many years the myth persisted that Lemmus lemmus, known to you and I as the lemming, would inexplicably hurl itself into the abyss during their annual migration. ![]()
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